My weightloss

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Nothing really bothers her, she just wants to love herself.

I'm a huge nirvana fan. I swore that i was gonna get this tattooed when i turned eighteen, hasn't happened yet. maybe its a little too emo.


Been sleeping too much, and still tired.. should be in school in 10 minutes but not ready, so gonna skip first period.. been doing that maybe a little too much lately.


I'm in the school newspaper, but our school is so small that it our newspaper only comes out twice a year, but instead we are now writing an article everyweek that is in one of the major newspapers here. it's driving me crazy. had such a brainfart yesterday and didn't know what i was writing, maybe i came of little sarcastic. i'll probably be in trouble. 


my dog is grinning at me, he's still such a puppy, though he's six. crazy dog thinks he's a cat.


after a sleepless night yesterday i had egg whites for breakfast, 17 cal. after school i slept all day long, only to wake up with a pain in my stomach, and after trying to go to sleep again, i gave up and had a little of mom's dinner, some healthy something.. not sure what it was.


but still after that i got on the scale this morning and saw i was down 2 lbs :) i'm 143.5 now.. i really really wanna be in the 130s.. 


been fighting with my boyfriend. saw a picture of him and his ex and went loco.. i'm a really jealous person. 
we've been together for nearly eight months and we're still not facebook official. one of the reason is that he's 9 years older, 27 yrs old. and i haven't met any of his family. except for his cousins.. thats because i grew up with them. awkward.


i hate small towns.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Crazy weather, y u no stop?!

Where i live, weather changes every 5 minutes, and today we've been so lucky to have heavy rain and a wind that blew away a part of our roof. 

the weather is not having a good impact on my mood, all day i just wanted to lay in bed in a fetal position and read. but of course i had to work.

just been drinking coffee, maybe too much, probably gonna be up all night. 
also found out i like nuts! then i mean nuts nuts, not manly nuts.. though that too.
been nibbling on them all day, the nuts nuts i mean.. and only about 10g gone from the bag and i'm so full! 

maybe i'll exercise a little.. this weather is killing my mood.
nah, my plan tonight is to cuddle under my blanket with a good book :)

toodle-oo! x

i would kill for this.. literally.
yeah yeah yeah! almost forgot! been noticing new followers and wanna catch up with everybody, so if i'm not following you leave a comment and i'll check it out ! :)

I'm the dude.

it's 3:58 a.m and i can't sleep so i turned on the tv, and once in my whole life there was something good on, the big lebowski ♥


oh and yeah, i dont think this plan is gonna work for me, working on a new one at the moment.


my day? well, sleeping way too much, then stupid work, calling my boyfriend and then binging on candy and chips.. and drinking my weight in pepsi... feel so sick.


that's the reason i can't sleep.


also been smoking way too much, don't feel well. it's like i'm binging on cigarettes.


ah well, my plan, starting tomorrow:


Day 1-100 cal
Day 2-50 cal
Day 3-0 cal
Day 4- 100 cal
Day 5-0 cal
Over the weekend – 5 bite diet


I will try my best next weekend, but i finally get to see my boyfriend, and we have a date at a sushi place, and we always eat fattening food. so i think the 5 bite diet would work the best. 


over and out x
too beautiful.. 
been depressed lately because i was interviewed for a promo video for my school.. and all i could see was fat cheeks and bloated face..
just want my cheekbones to show.

*UPDATE* 
forgot to mention exercise like crazy.. just whenever i can.
would love to know some of your favs?

Friday, September 16, 2011

yeah.. i gave in.

with that i mean i bought cigarettes.
just was so pissed off, and didn't want to eat, so i gave in.


ah, so now i let myself smoke instead of allowing myself to eat.
which is going pretty well, only tea, water and coffee today :)


and stepped on the scale yesterday, nearly 148 lbs. eww.
but weighed myself in the evening after eating a lot of sick food. so i'm not sure what my actual weight is, probably around 145.


i hate how i'm quick up.. but i'm also loose weight pretty fast.
that should be some kind of an inspiration. but it just makes me think "huh, this is easy, i could do this anytime. i'll just start tomorrow."


now i just have to finish my homework and do some exercise, just been way too lazy today.


sayonara x

Funny how things you own, start owning you.

Right now my mind and body are fighting.. if i should start smoking again.
the thing is i've smoked for 4 years now, and while fasting cigarettes were a lifesaver. i'm just not sure if i can do it without them.
but have to save money.. and i always smoke way too much, i'd go through a pack in a day or two.
and on the other hand, i was able to stop, and i'm not sure if i could do that again, soon i mean.


agh, anyways. my plan yesterday didn't work, well, i got sick, some stomach flu and yeah.
so i started today.
that's the reason for my cigarette rambling.


ta-ta x

Thursday, September 15, 2011

long time no see..




god, been so busy since school started.. haven't had any freetime.
my days are just school, then straight to work and work all evening, then home and study and sleep. 
and also a lot of meetings cus last spring i thought it would be good for me to take more part in the social life of the school , which i regret sincerely..
also just been eating whatever.. and weighed myself yesterday and i'm up to 145.5 lbs.. *facepalm* .. but that could also be because i stopped smoking.. though i've been stealing a cig from my mom once in a while (ssssh!)


agh.. so tomorrow i'm gonna fast.. only tea, coffee and water, for as long as i can. just to kick things off :)


i dont know if you're gonna hear from me often, but i'll try to post as often as i can :)


ciao x


btw, i have i weird thing for shoulders at the moment, actually after watching a rerun of cougar town last night(how in the name of cheesus crust does courtney stay so hot?!).. mine are so fat and blugh, i just want feminine and pointy ones.